so I’m back from my hiatus…

back to talk about this trend that’s taken off in the media for a while.

From Helena Andrew’s controversial memoir, “Bitch is the New Black,” to Chilli’s new reality show, “What Chilli Wants” and the specials with panelists who should be the last people to talk about what black women should do to get a man.

This idea that if you’re successful, female, and BLACK and you choose to set high standards, that you are doomed to a life of loneliness.  ALSO, that all black women are desperate to find men!!Do I think successful black women will have a harder time finding a mate?? YES, but we should not be made to feel that because we have went to school, got our degree(s), started our careers or on that path, that we will never find men of equal success. For years, there has always been the debate whether or not mothers should be career women or just stay at home moms,now, I feel that the focus has shifted to black women compromising our success and standards for companionship/love. We shouldn’t be made to feel that we have to settle for less to get a man. That idea is preposterous to me. Instead of telling me that I should lower my standards to get a man, how about telling that man that he needs to work harder to get the woman who’s already has it. So I’m going to try to stay up later tonight to watch this ABC Nightline special about single, successful black women, and why we can’t find men *side-eye*I’ll write my thoughts on it tomorrow.

~Until next time

Over at Bossip, I read about the incident that occurred between Journalist and White House Correspondent, April Ryan (left), and the White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs recently and was really ashamed and disappointed. Basically, it started when April Ryan questioned Desiree Rogers, who happens to be the first black Social Secretary, performance as the Social Secretary prior to the Salahis crashing the White House party a few weeks ago. Rogers has been under scrutiny lately for her office’s role in the security mix-up that allowed the uninvited couple to get into the White House-mind you this is also a secret service problem as well. So once Ryan questioned Roger’s performance, she then proceeded to ask Gibbs if Rogers was trying to outshine Michelle Obama-outshining meaning, doing photo shoots (see last post) and fashion spreads. Some say that Gibbs tried to undermined Ryan, and some are even saying race was a factor, but I disagree completely. I thought her questions were irrelevant and unprofessional.  Maybe Gibbs comparing her to his five year-old was over the line, but in all Ryan took it there.  This incident disappointed me because I respected April Ryan as a black journalist and her accomplishment she made by being one of a handful of black White House correspondents even given that prestigious title. However, I feel like of all people who would call into question the performance of another black women, she would be the last person to do so.  She really made black Journalist and black women look bad.

Also, I started thinking about this incident in general, how one black women is basically trying to tear down the image of another black woman. This type of stuff still occurs, whether in the workplace or in this case, the media and its sad to tell you the truth. Being of a marginalized group, black women have always been given less and expected of doing less, so you would think that in this day in age we wouldn’t be tearing each other down, but instead trying to uplift one another.Have you ever found yourself in a position where another sista was giving you attitude for no reason? Trying to undermine your accomplishments? Put you down? Check the video below, and tell me what you think.

src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/mFW3o4iTWXc&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowfullscreen=”true” allowScriptAccess=”always” width=”425″ height=”344″>

Some of these women I was already familiar with (i.e. Valerie Jarrett, Desiree Rogers and Richmond’s own Melody Barnes), but I was always curious about the other black women who are also key players and are responsible for the everday operations of the White House. The slideshow features women such as Michelle Obama’s personal assistant, the Deputy White House Counsel and many others. Kudos to Essence for featuring these women!

Here’s the direct link:

http://www.essence.com/news/hot_topics_4/black_women_in_the_obama_administration.php

Get motivated!

SOOOO, I was pretty excited to hear that I would be close to owning a pair of Jimmy Choos one day when the line debuts for the retailer, H&M. Of course, the quality will not be the same as the real deal (i.e. “made in China” vs. “made in Italy”), but hey, the $49-200 price range will work well with my budget.

The First Lady covers the December 2009 issue of Glamour Magazine. Looking fly on the cover rocking the trendy statement necklace and a bold red party dress-which she styled herself! Honored by the magazine as “Woman of the Year,” in the article, Mrs. Obama gives advice on everything from setting priorities in life and in relationships:

“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person?  Don’t look at the bank book or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. … When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. … You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole.”

AMEN TO THAT! See this is why I love this woman so much, *tear*.

The issue hits newsstands November 10.

RIHANNA GIVES FIRST SIT DOWN INTERVIEW POST CHRIHANNAGATE WITH ABC

Yes, I said “Chrihannagate” lmao….

Robin Fenty’s, aka Rihanna, sit down interview with Diane Sawyer will air in its entirety on ABC’s 20/20, Friday, November 20th at 10pm. This will be Rihanna’s first major interview since the fiasco with Chris Brown happened. Excerpts from the interview will air this morning and Friday morning on Good Morning America, but since most of us won’t be watching that due to work or it’s just too early to wake up, check it out Friday night.

**sidenote**- UMMMMM, if I am going to do my FIRST major interview, with a MAJOR network channel and receive perhaps the most  publicity I probably will ever get, considering that the masses don’t follow the black blogs that much, you best believe that I am gonna look FLY!!! WTF does she have on!?!?!? I’ve seen her look 10x better in photo op pics walking down the street. The stylist definitely dropped the ball on this one….

Why is this idea of “ghettoness” and/or the ghetto lifestyle becoming so acceptable within the black community? Why is there a sense of normalcy to adapt into a ghetto lifestyle?

*For those who want to probe further, when I say GHETTO, I am referring to the act of doing something half-ass; a cheap like appearance and most importantly,  to embody an impoverished/poor/disadvantaged area through one’s actions.

In case you’ve been under a rock, there has been a love affair, (far from a teenage one), going on between R&B singer, Alicia Keys and the MARRIED Producer, Swizz Beatz for a while now. Mashonda, R& B singer and wife to Swizz Beatz,  has handled the affair with class if you ask me, refusing to discuss the situation with the press and even showing up to Swizz Beatz bday party to wish him well, despite it being thrown by his mistress, A. Keys herself.

Recently Keys has made some insensitive tweets on her twitter page concerning her and Swizz, which sparked a lengthy letter from Mashonda via twitter as well. In it, Mashonda calls Keys out and states that it is time for them to sit down as women and talk about the whole situation and indirectly calls Keys a hypocrite:

…….My concern with AK is no longer the fact that she assisted in destroying a family but that she has the audacity to make these selfish comments about love and wanting to be with someone, even after knowing their situation. How is this the same Superwoman that I sang out loud with in my truck? I ask myself sometimes.

    If you are reading this Alicia, let me start by saying, you know what you did. You know the role you played and you know how you contributed to the ending of my marriage. You know that I asked you to step back and let me handle my family issues. Issues that you helped to create…..

So my question for the night is, was the Twitter route the right approach to addressing her husband’s affair? What do you think about those who vent about their relationships via Twitter and Facebook? Speak on it….

To add my two cents, dating/talking/going out with a man that’s in a relationship and most cerainly a married man is flat out wrong and the same applies to married women too. I wasn’t a big fan of Alicia Keys before this incident and I am definitely not one now. But as she says, “what goes around, comes around, what goes up, must come down..” Yes, KARMA is indeed a b****.

Michael Jackson passed away last week and it still feel as if it never happened. MJ was one of those few people in entertainment that are TIMELESS, immortal, or in his words- INVICIBLE. You would never think anything could happen to him, so his passing is still shocking to me.  Yet, what’s even more shocking to me is lack of respect that the media has shown to this icon after his death. Despite being a world icon, musical genius, world humanitartian, philanthropist, etc., etc., it seems that the only thing the media outlets and entertainment shows want to focus on is his troubled life and the child molestation accusations (in which he was acquitted of).  Yes, Michael Jackson had a troubled life, but that is not his legacy. His legacy is the millions of people he inspired, influenced and affected through his music and philanthropy. There will never be another Michael Jackson and hopefully the media will quit focusing on whether or not he suffered from drug abuse and  realize all of the talent we lost too soon and will never get back.